Day 91, My arms are too short

As I am wrapping up, I am realizing how much of a struggle this has been for me.  I have experienced so much doubt along the way.  At some points, especially reading the words of the prophets I was beginning to think that I was just Jewish. I have been reading different Jewish websites and blogs to gain true understanding as to why they don't believe Jesus was the Messiah.  Unlike anything else I have encountered there were some incredibly valid points. Just when I thought I may have lost it all, I turned the page to the New Testament

I had been questioning my faith. I was afraid. Plus, I am always confronting my husband about his doubts and how he should stand up so he can lead our family; but I am having doubts of my own. (Hypocrite) Secretly, I wanted him to be stronger so I could lean on his faith. (Wrong move)  I needed to check myself.

So here it is:

Gary, I am sorry for every time I have tried to through God in your face without having Him in my mouth and heart.  I am sorry for harboring a grudge against you for not continuing to read the Bible with me these past months.  I am sorry for denying you the respect you have ultimately deserved as my husband throughout our entire marriage. I am sorry for blaming you for things I have had a hand in also. I am sorry for everything I have hidden. You are an a amazing husband.  I am proud of you. I am glad you are showing interest in getting to know the Lord and it will be my pleasure to continue to pray for your strength in Him. I am sorry for being mean, I can't wait to get to know you better. I can't wait to be a better support system for you.  Thank you for sharing your life with me. I love you, please forgive me.
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I pray almost every morning for God to lead and guide me. Finally, I am ready to surrender. I give up, I realize my arms are too short to box with God.