I am blessed to come from a family who loves the Lord. I am having a hard time finding peace right now and I am looking for a financial blessing (Like I know a lot of people are). My brother out of the blue says, " We are going to pray about it tonight, fast from dinner." I am not a good faster. I am greedy I am an obese person in a slim body. When ever I try to fast it seems like I begin to feel like I am starving, immediately. Even though I felt like I could conquer skipping dinner, at some point, I subconsciously picked up an apple and began eating it. When I realized what I was doing I spit it out and tried to gag up the excess. Technically it wasn't dinner but in my heart skipping dinner meant don't eat or drink for the rest of the night. I am sorry that I wasn't in a prayerful spirit from the moment I told the Lord I was going to fast. If I was then the apple wouldn't have ever touched my lips. God knows my heart and my intentions. I hope he will honor and accept my efforts tonight. Thank you brother, because your strength has been a motivation and comfort to me. Thank you for loving me.
God what are you doing in my life? You want to deliver me don't you? You know I am trying to work on praying more and you are creating opportunities left and right.
When I was praying with my brother something came out of my mouth that I was never really able to put in words before. I know the Lord says He will forgive all of our sins in Jesus' name, but I don't feel forgiven. I feel like I am in a fog that is preventing me from having the closeness to the Lord I so desire. But now I realize that this feeling is not because God hasn't forgiven me; it is because I haven't forgiven myself. If God can forgive me how dare I hold myself hostage. (This also was brought to my attention by my sweet brother)
If nothing is to small for God, He can clear this fog. He will heal me of my unbelief.
Please pray for someone it is the best gift you can give.
Tomorrow's reading is 1 Chronicles 1 - 9
P.S. I am ahead in my reading. I can't stop reading. I know it is a severe change even from yesterday. But God can change you in an instant.