Death and Love. We can not escape them. This weekend I encountered death in the physical and the spiritual forms.
My husband's grandmother past away and she is not in this country. He can't go because he carries the family business on his back. I tried to imagine myself in those shoes. (I quickly stopped because I didn't like what I was imagining) The person who I am really hurting for is my father-in-law who can't attend because of his medical condition. I am not sure how I would be able to handle missing the final services for my mother. But he is standing strong, and he has been an inspiration to me this weekend. He himself, is not in the best of health, but this weekend, he still got up, lived the day and never cursed God for his circumstances. He is in pain 24 hours a day and he still goes to work in the cabinet shop. He is not going to let the strength he has left go to waste. I heard him say to his cousin yesterday, " I know God hasn't brought me through all of this just to suffer. I should be dead. God has a purpose for my life I know He does."
That is when my self pity died. Though I want to mourn the ability to whine over my discomforts, I will not. I will not be like Asa, King of Judah and not call on the Lord because of my anger. I will not be afraid of men or negative circumstances. God has not given us a spirit of fear but of POWER, LOVE, & a SOUND MIND. I claim these, I will speak life.
I am a 1/3 of the way through this journey folks and I see Him healing my ignorance daily. My light will shine before men.
Tomorrow's reading is 2 Chronicles 17 - 35