Day 77, John 16 - Acts 6

God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we are able to ask or think.

So much stuff is going on in my heart and mind right now. I am in a love - hate relationship with my life.  I am praying for satisfaction with what God has blessed me with.

1. I am still alive - I should be dead because of how much I sin
2. I want to have a baby with my husband. It is going to be difficult because we have some reproductive issues and the procedures are expensive. - I should be happy with Tyler. He is amazing. I couldn't be more proud of him and glad to have him in my life. On top of that I don't treat him the way I should, meaning I don't spend a lot of time talking about God with him. Which is wrong, wrong, wrong. I say I love him with all of my heart but I am not instilling him with the most important thing in his life.  I probably don't deserve a baby until I honor him with the baby he has already given me.
3. I have a job. It doesn't pay a lot but at least I know a check is coming on the 15th and 30th.-There are millions unemployed and I go to work everyday unhappy wishing to be fired. How dare I kick God in the face. I need to honor what he has given me while working to receive something better.

I claim I want to be led, but I act wilder than a wild bronco when he tries to reign me in.  I am ashamed, but I will prevail.